dream journey jornal (cuz i can!)

Dudeees I had a dream that I was passing down a school and as we were driving past parts of the school building were burned and my roommate said to me "it's sad how they don't tell anyone how it happened, it was never on the news" and I saw flashbacks of the building being burned at night, the school was huge and the part of the school that was burned was completely desolate. In the fire there was a young girl and she was walking towards me, dont think she was human, after that I felt another presence In the roomwas in real life like something wanted to get in my heart and I got up gasping and anxious, paranoid.
The end :p

Anecdote within an Anecdote With a Few Pictures

Recognize this butt ?  What you don't?  Haha it's okay you probably don't. Ignore the date on the picture (sometimes cameras get the wrong date) but this was actually a student's art piece at Dominican University.  This was when I went to visit universities in  Northern California. That should ring a bell. Believe we went here in April of 2014! That's crazy! I feel like it's been longer than that. But them again it is almost 2016!

Okay now to the actual topic of this post... Photography! So I remember before I went on the Northern California College Trip, I asked my parents if I could have a digital camera so I could take pictures because I remember at that time I had a cheap phone and the camera quality wasn't the best and well I really wanted to take pictures. (And I lowkey missed my old digital camera, I owned a digital camera back in 2011 it was a Nikon digital camera that was touch screen and it was pretty awesome!) So they were like but cameras are really expensive luckily my sister chimed in that they sold cheap cameras at Kmart so we went. And I bought a cheap one, I wasn't so content since the brand was Vivitar and I had never heard of that brand before. It was only like 9 MP but I bought it anyways. I mean a camera is better than no camera right?

Well apparently not to my 16 year old self. I don't know why but when I was around the ages of 15-16 I was very concerned about being updated with technology. Here's an example. When I was 15, instead of having a quincenera like any Mexican girl, I went on a three day trip to Catalina Island with my parents and my sister. On that trip, my family and I owned phones which were pretty much outdated for today, they were non touch screen and had a low quality camera . My parents always like taking pictures ya know for memory like any other parent. I remember being on a tour in a jeep with my family and an older couple (I think they were in their 60s) and in this moment I noticed the technological gap between my parents and that elder couple who were older than my parents ironically. The elder couple was taking pictures of the landscape with either a digital camera or their smart phone while my mom took a picture of the landscape with her nonsmart phone and my dad didn't take any pictures because he got so frustrated with his old phone.  I don't know why but in that moment I felt so embarrassed. Well I do but I'm straying too far off topic. This little anecdote might turn into another discussion of materialist obsessions. Well the point is. I felt so embarrassed that my family didn't have such technology. They didn't have smartphones or digital cameras.

Well this post has gone on for too long so I'll try to make this short. So back to my original discussion. When I was on that trip with my little 9 MP camera, I felt so inadequate and so out of touch. You see I knew how to use smartphones and digital cameras but I just didn't have any. Everyone on that trip either had a smartphone or a digital/professional camera. My camera was so basic compared to theirs. Every time I took a picture it made a noise while the other kids' cameras didn't. Every time I wanted to get a good picture I had to make sure I was still and as far away as possible in order to get a good picture while the rest of the kids just had to have their phones a bit far back and effortlessly got a good picture. The worst part was that the tour guides rarely stopped which meant I rarely had time to take good pictures. I never looked back at those photos because I lost the camera was pretty sure the pictures came out ugly.

A decent photo taken at Stanford with my 9 MP camera

But  one year later I found that 30 dollar camera and I took out the micro SD card and I looked back at those pictures, most of them were blurry (mainly because every time I took a  picture it made a noise and I either got embarrassed or felt rude so I quickly tried hiding my camera) but there are a few pictures which actually came out decent. Well what I really wanted to say with this story is that sometimes the price of a camera or brand of a camera doesn't really matter. Sometimes a 30 dollar camera can take pretty good pictures if the person behind it actually takes the time to take a good shot.

Blogging

So hello? I guess you probably won't read this since you made your own blog haha. (I haven't been stalking you what are you talking about? I just stumbled upon a Google plus post of your blog) But I'll write about this anyways.

First it's been officially 8 months since anything was written. And well  this blog was a very interesting idea. Since those 8 months there we've sort of gone our own ways. You go to University in Northridge and I go to one in  Irvine. It's been officially one week since I started school and 4 or 5 weeks since you started.  My school year has started out rough and I have felt like I wasn't good enough but I won't go into details. One of my assignments  has been to start a blog for one of my classes called Humanities Core. At first I was excited after I turned it in extremely confident but afterwards when I saw a couple of students' blogs I felt like I had done the assignment  wrong. The truth is the content of their first blog posts were extremely elaborate while mine was just... basic.  I still believe this. The prompt was to look for a picture of war and describe what the photographer wants us to feel about war. I was being basic and decided  to just directly answer. That was my mistake. Yet when I look back on this blog I feel like when we wrote personal blog posts or just blog posts about our feelings I feel like they were good. I mean I guess the reason why I was so confident is that these blog posts are more real and personal. While when I am writing for my class blog I know that my peers and my instructor are going to read them so it makes me more conscious. Maybe if it were just peers I wouldn't feel so conscious but the fact that a teacher is reading it makes it feel like I have to answer in a somewhat formal way and I can't be as casual.  Like one of my classmates even had a bibliography on her first blog post. I feel like the blog I'm making for class is so... fake. I feel like I am forcing myself to write a blog. I mean yes I know it's work. But having a minimum word limit I have to meet makes me write nonsense. I feel like it shouldn't have a word limit. Maybe a maximum but having a word limit you have to meet feels so limiting. I don't know maybe I'm just complaining for no good reason. Maybe there is a word limit so I can challenge myself and come up with new ideas. The whole purpose of this blog post is basically to explain my frustrations. I felt like I was good at blogging but it turns out I'm not as good as I thought I guess I just have to push myself more.

Damn You Jessica!

I hate to admit this but...I've gotten addicted to StumbleUpon! It's so awesome! Like it's interesting because it gives me interesting things to read and do like this

and this!

Well yeah I would tell you how awesome it is but you already know about it so yeah. Thank you!

The Monster

My name is Hiroshi. I am just a boy living in Japan. How I came to tell you my story, I do not know. But I am here, and you were chosen. That is the way it has to be, let me continue. We heard a rumor that a monster lived in the outskirts of town. We went inside the abandoned house, the one that everyone was afraid of. 

It was 2:25 in the morning when we went inside the house. As soon as we stepped in the door locked itself. We stayed there near the door. We heard the shattering of glass. I was the only one that went to the kitchen. My friends stayed behind. There was a broken plate on the kitchen floor, that was the source of the noise. When I returned my friends were gone. I went upstairs and I saw a library. There were many rooms. As I passed one of the rooms my peripheral vision caught something very strange. I saw something blue in one of the rooms. When I turned to focus my eyes on the sight nothing was there. I went inside that same room, I distinctly remember how cold that room was. In the middle of the room there was a small table. There was a key on the table. When I picked up the key I had seen something terrifying. It was a blue monster, it was looking at me with the most widened eyes I have ever seen. It reached out to me and I screamed the loudest I have ever screamed in my entire life. 

The chase began, I ran out of the room and fell inside another room. I thought this was the end of me. I ended up hiding under a dusty bed. There was no sound, complete silence. I could no longer see the monster. After a while I went outside the room, I was no longer myself, I was traumatized. I was confused, I had no idea if what I saw was real. I went inside another room. In this room there were two beds. My bones felt weak, I was shaking and I fell to the floor. Apparently I had fainted, I was lying on the ground and when I turned my head I saw a hole on the ground. It was under the bed. I moved the bed with the little strength I had left. I knew that I couldn't get out of this house, I don't know how I knew but I did. I heard a strange sound coming from inside the hole, hoping it would be my friends I jumped in. It was dark and I was cold. I heard something move. In the corner on the right I saw one of my friends hiding behind a drawer. She looked terrible. Her hair was out of place, her skin was pale and she had blue splotches on her clothes. She couldn't see me for she was forcing her eyes shut and her hands were covering her ears, she was trembling.

I tapped her on the shoulder and she shrieked. I told her "let's go home together", she only screamed and cried. I didn't know what to do, I climbed out of the hole and wandered around the house. I put my hands in my pocket, I felt something inside. It was the key from earlier. I don't remember putting it in my pocket. My hands were trembling trying to hold on to the key. I Heard a scream of pain. It sounded a lot like my friend. When I climbed back in the hole... I'll never forget what I saw. My friend was lying on the floor, her eyes were widened. Her heart was splattered on the floor. I was confused, I didn't know what was going on. 

I woke up, I was in my bed and it was raining outside. I looked at the clock, it was 2:25 am. I sat there in bed for a couple of minutes trying to make sense of what happened, trying to figure out if these were nightmares. I walked to the dark bathroom to wash my face. When I looked up at the mirror my face was half blue. When I stepped out of the room I realized I was still inside the abandoned house. This house was familiar, I knew where all the rooms were, I knew every inch of this place. I reached inside my pocket and the key was there. I remembered this key...it was the key to get out of this house. I was the blue  monster, I had murdered people. This abandoned house was my home. I was the one that lured my friends here. They were running away from me but I wouldn't let them leave. I had found every one of my friends and now they were all dead. The blue monster I had seen, I was seeing myself. I was never hiding under the bed, it was just the boy I had killed.

 My name is Hiroshi. I am just a boy living in Japan. I was born this way. I was a monster living in the outskirts of town. I can see you, your eyes following my every word. Nothing makes sense, I know. Pieces of the puzzle are missing. All I know is, This is real, I am real and I'll be waiting for you. This is all part of the game, and you're next.

A Challenge!

  I have a challenge for the both of us! The challenge is to put your ipod/mp3/itunes/spotify/  whatever you use to listen to music etc in shuffle and the first song that comes up you have to write a  story based on the song! Bonne Chance! It's a challenge so you can do it or not, not mandatory!

The Crazy Cell

* This is a story I created in 10th grade for biology x) so be warned there are a couple of grammar

     
      The Crazy Cell is the  nickname of a famous mental institution who helps these mentally I happen to run. In this institution we try to help them out by helping them discover their hobbies. My name is Nucleus and let me tell you all about  this place. I am the one who’s in charge and makes sure everyone doesn't mess up. First let me introduce you to the famous Mito Chondria. There’s nothing wrong with him he’s just very energetic and people say he’s  diagnosed with hyperactivity but I don’t see it. You see that one big guy over there his name’s Cell Membrane he regulates what comes in and out of this place. There’s also G.G Apparatus who is a former hoarder she is slowly overcoming that by storing useful stuff and modifying them for use after she done doing that she saves them in Vesicles and mails them off.  I almost forgot to mention the most famous twins, the ER twins, nicknamed Smooth and Rough. Smooth. They used to be troublemakers but now they have changed. The Smooth E.R is now working on the lab making lipids and breaking down stuff.  Now his twin Rough E.R helps Ribosome. Now what that means is that Ribosome makes proteins and in order to do that he has to be with Rough E.R. Don’t they make a lovely couple?  There’s also Lysosome who has O.C.D. He just can’t stop cleaning, it's not as bad as it use to be. Now he only cleans the inside of this place, I guess that's not so bad. I mean hey at least we get this place clean for free. I almost forgot about Chloroplast. He’s a really sweet guy, he really likes the place and absorbing light  the only problem with him is that some people say he’s passive aggressive, which I think is a lie. You may be thinking wow thats alot of people you have to take control of, but I don’t mind it what i do the best. Bossing around people is my job.

Dreams and stuff

I remember once in 3rd grade I attempted to make my own comic. It was called the adventures of Super Fifi and Super Princess (based off my best friends and I' dogs). I also remember how in 3rd grade I came to the undestaning that I was a horrible artist. So whenever it came to drawing in class I would draw but I was aware I was bad, however in like 7th or 8th grade something sparked and I was like you know what In gonna keep a notebook and draw in it. I did draw in it however that was also the time I became friends with a girl who who had excellent drawing skills(she drew great but to my 13 year old self I thought she was awesome) so when I looked at my notebook I realized they were bad drawings, the only thing I could draw was this hairy beast.  So what did I do? I gave up. I just decided maybe art isn't just for me. 9th grade came and I met two of the most talented people I know. Back then it wasn't as obvious that one of the people was talented but the other one was so talented that I was like whoaaaa maybe art isn't for me. The other one also told me later on maybe this year, art isn't supposed to be perfect and that not everybody is just born with artistic skills , it takes practice, I've never really realized how true those words were until now. I realize Instead of just moping around how art wasn't my thing I should've been focused on trying to improve. It's senior year but it's never too late to try. I think I'm going to practice drawing, I mean obviously I'm not gonna major in it but I think it's going to be a hobby for me. What about you? Did you ever have something you loved doing when you were small? Why did you stop? Any dream or aspiration in which you had or still have? My advice: GO FOR IT!  You may not be the best at what you like doing but with practice you'll get better. Try new things!  Go nuts! Show nuts! Well maybe not show nuts... but you get the point. If you don't know what you're gonna do in life try new things or even old things you've abandoned

1st day of Senior year

I'm excited for senior year. So far I, l'm nervous for AP English, prepared for Film Studies, and I can already tell I'm gonna hate AP Government. 1st period AP Gov= 6th period world history in 10th grade. It was horrible. I had a certain amount of kids who were rowdy just like now! It's not the same people but I can tell it's gonna be like that. I don't know if I'm mature or I just have a superiority complex but some kids were making jokes that weren't so funny. Like some kid made a joke about almost getting deported but that isn't funny like can you imagine if that happened to you if you were raised here and you're whole life was built here but you were here illegally and they decided to take you away from everything you know and live? That would be hilarious. (I'm being sarcastic)  I know everybody has different types of humor but I just think there is a time for jokes and there are times when you should be serious. Well yeah. Also I feel kinda nervous that I haven't started on the novel. Either way  I hope I can survive this class. Pray for meeeeeee. Either way how do you feel your first day was?