Its Been Nice Knowing You

Just Be My Friend.

"Will you be my friend?" That's almost all I ever heard from him. "No, I don't want any friends." Is how I always replied. I cannot say I regret saying this to him, because at the time it is how I truly felt, I couldn't lie and tell him that I would love to be his friend...even if I had said yes, would our friendship have lasted long? It all began in Middle School, "Nobody likes Brooke and that's why she doesn't have any friends." That same sentence always followed me, I heard it many times in the cafeteria when the "pretty" girls would gossip. Those girls were not pretty...not to me anyways. They were followers just like everybody else except  people didn't know that, they made sure that they were seen as the leaders of the school. They were called the Alphas which I thought was pretty damn stupid, sounded like a pack of wolves yet in a stupid cliche school version. 
One fine school morning I heard them talk shit about me with a fairly big group of people who happened to be my classmates. "Brooke is nasty, the other day I heard her puking in the bathroom."Another one added "Oh my god, YES I heard that she's trying to lose weight so she could be like her sister, but lets be honest her sister is gorgeous she cant compete with her!" I heard some of my classmates laughing, some smiled and tried to make me more of an outsider so that they could gain some sort of approval. Basically they were kissing ass, of course they were it's in their damn nature! I marched right up to that group on that fine morning and I did my best to defend myself, "You want to know why I puked? Because that day you were all wearing tight leggings with a shirt that couldn't even cover your own asses! And second of all you cant compete with my sister either because clearly you already lost!" The group of girls sat there stunned for a second, I heard no OOoohing whatsoever. Instead one of the girls stood up, walked over to me and spit right at my face, "Oh little bitch, poor Brooke at least we got an ass!" Everyone was shoving me and some girls spit at me some more. Nobody liked me or gave me a chance and I didn't know why. I didn't know what to do, in that moment I hated school, I hated everyone, I hated that morning. I didn't want to give up, I wanted to stand up for myself and say something more but instead I felt warm tears coming out of my eyes, I heard everyone's roaring laughter and I ran, I ran as fast as I could behind the school building where I knew I would fall asleep on the long green grass, where no one could find me, where no one would be...or so I thought.

It's Time for New Beginnings

That's when I saw him. It was the kid that often asked me if I would be his friend. He was sitting on the grass looking at me. I wanted to run again but I knew that if I got out of this hiding spot everyone would see me, everyone would laugh. "Go away!! I hate you! I don't want to see you! Leave me alone!" I screamed. He stood up and saw the tears rolling down my face, for some reason he began to cry. He cried with me and he gave me a hug. I told him "Let me go you stupid bastard, I want to be alone!" I think I may have hurt him badly while struggling to get free but he didn't let go. He cried and hugged me for what seemed like forever but it may have only been two minutes. I didn't know what to do, I felt comforted like a baby when its mother hugs him. We both cried together. I didn't understand a whole lot but I did understand one thing, this boy was crying for me, he was not pitying me, he was understanding my rage and my sadness. We sat there for a while, even when the bell rang, we sat there in silence. Then, out of nowhere the kid goes "Will you be my friend?" I froze, and then I sighed. "I don't want any friends and I certainly don't need any friends. I hate humans in general, I choose to be alone because it's better than pretending. Anyways, everyone hates me and that's okay because I hate them too. People hurt me and I hurt them too." The boy sat there bewildered for a moment. "But you didn't answer my question I didn't ask whether or not you are capable of having any friends or why you don't want any friends I asked...will you be my friend?" I threw a rock at him out of anger and I accidentally made his forehead bleed. The boy began to cry again, this boy was a wuss I thought, It was the first time I felt sympathy for someone in school. I immediately felt bad for him and I was angry with myself "I'm sorry look, don't cry I don't "want" to be your friend but I will be your friend so stop crying!" The boy dried his tears and began to smile, his smile was so genuine that I almost cried. "It's time for new beginnings...friend!" And then I did cry. I had nothing in common with this boy, I didn't need any friends, and neither did he. All we knew was that we wanted to protect each other, we wanted to look out for each other and so we became friends. Ever since he was seen with me.. people began to pick on him and say awful things to him. I defended him, I wanted to defend him more than I wanted to defend myself and so I did. When people threw spit balls at me he tried to catch them, he didn't catch them all. When people called me nasty names he got angry and for my sake he tried to call them the nastiest names he could and snitched to the teachers afterward. This boy was whiny and delicate. I was angry and an outsider. He was my first friend.  

Our Time has Come to an End

I didn't want any friends but there he was. I wasn't the greatest friend but there he was. As I see him in this hospital bed I almost wish I'd never known him. Because he is dying and I can't protect him I can't save him and I don't know what else to do. Today is his last day and I want to be there for him to defend him from everything. I visited him everyday at the hospital. We've been friends for only a while but it has seemed like a long time. We had nearly nothing in common yet we loved each other nonetheless. We protected each other and now our time has come to an end. I see him struggling to open his eyes, eventually he opens them. He looks so vulnerable and I wish I could help him somehow but I can't protect him anymore. I cry and when he sees me he smiles at me and his voice is nearly inaudible but I manage to hear him say "Will you be my friend?" I nod my head and as if it we knew each other for many years we say in unison, "It's been nice knowing you friend."